Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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