One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
