Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
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