Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
