that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
