just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I think my moral compass just broke
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
