you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
