I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
