And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
