he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
