If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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