Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
My life is pants optional.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
