Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
