so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
