some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize