I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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