Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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