Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
