He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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