3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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