Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
