Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
