Jerry, you need to find god
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
