I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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