I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
