I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
