And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I intend to get homeless drunk
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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