I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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