She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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