You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You are the jesus of drinking
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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