I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
