question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
