butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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