I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
