That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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