...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
