Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
