Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
