I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
