im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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