Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Randomize
