I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
