Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
