so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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