??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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