the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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