y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
