if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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