Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
