It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Randomize
