i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
